Welcome to Carnage - Alcohol, dressing up and sexism

Today, as I was informed by my handy iPhone 4s that I hadn't written a blog in near enough to ten days, I let out a sigh of agitation and proceeded to throw it the length of the room (I'M JOKING MOTHER). I am very sorry that I haven't updated in these last ten days or more - I'm sure you've all been going out of your minds with boredom, especially the few who have emailed me in the last week to tell me you've bookmarked my blog in your favourites as a subtle hint - (I'm touched guys, but maybe it's time to turn the computer off now and do something else with your lives). The point is, I'm back, my internet isn't playing up quite as bad anymore, and I've finally finished my work to a mediocre standard, which means I have more time to doss around.

Anyway, today after I picked my phone up off my sofa and sobbed a truly heartfelt apology, I finally took some notice of the flyers that my housemates have decided to stick to the walls. (This is done in the vain hope that we'll entice each other to go to these events throughout the year, which will be dominated by the typical 'Fresher'.) I soaked up all the information like the wonderful student I am, and couldn't believe it when I read that the carnage theme of 'Pimps and Hoes' was actually happening. There was me thinking that my boyfriend had been lying to me!

Slag'n'Drag. Geeks and Sluts. CEOs and Corporate Hoes. Golf pros and tennis hoes. Ah - I see that Fresher's week hasn't diminished after its ending last week- It's returned with a gusto of sexism. How interesting.

The most notorious and debauched student pub crawl takes place tomorrow night. Hundreds of Freshies will be taking to the streets of Swansea to participate - unashamedly stumbling around, kissing on the streets, reeking of vodka shots and behaving as their usual drink and disorderly selves. Female students will more than likely be wearing little other than bras and miniskirts with suspenders as they adhere to the fancy dress code of prostitutes, while male students will be wearing the typical glasses and full on suits that make your eyes water.

All this for ten pounds? Thank God I'm not going!

In all seriousness, it has raised a fair bit of controversy this week in the national news. The sexual objectification that the 'Pimps and Hoes' theme trivialises is something that I am against, which is why I'm not going. I know that we students like a laugh, a kebab at 3am and a good ol' fashioned piss up to proceed it, but even I think this is taking it a tad too far. And frankly, I'm always so far past the line, that it's a dot to me.

Let's look at it this way; a 2010 study conducted by everyone's favourite free-stuff-giving organisation, the NUS, showed that out of a nationwide sample of 2000 female students, 14% had been physically or sexually assaulted, 68% were subjected to sexual harassment and nearly 15% had experience unwanted sexual contact during their time at university. Given that bundle of statistics, maybe it's time for carnage to come up with a new theme.

I think that it's perfectly possible that the intention is light-hearted, and I hear all the people out there shouting that it's only fancy dress and that, (and yes, I've seriously read this argument), you're only young once, but it's scary to consider that a bunch of fresh faced, over enthusiastic and highly intoxicated students are being sent a message based on sexual devaluation. Male students are made to believe that they are powerful, intelligent and talented with titles following successful lines, while female students are led to believe that they are the subjects of their sexual desires. Sorry lads, but I'm far more than a sexual desire - I'm a woman with (semi) intelligent thoughts, (half hearted) feelings and fantastic sandwich making abilities. And I don't feel like being some sort of sexual object. Thanks, but no thanks.

Adam Gray/ SWNS.com

Ladies, let's get this straight. You don't have to participate! Like I said, I'm glad I'm not going. I don't really see the attraction paying ten pounds of wearing a pair of short shorts that I -

1) Don't own

2) Will cost me money I don't have

and 3) will (undoubtedly) proudly put my thunder thighs and cheeks on display for drunken lads to grab at. I don't own any fishnet stockings, corsets or a black hat to round off the whole assemble either, (if I had enough clothes on to call it that) and, I think that, like any other girl, I would have to have a hell of a lot of alcohol in my system to feel good about myself when dressed like a prostitute. I can walk around my room at home on any old day in just my underwear for free. So, I think I'll pass on that event.

What I want to know is what happened to the good, clean and fun carnages that we had last year? All I was expected to do was dress up as a nurse, a cavewoman and a policewoman  In that order. I can admit that some female students took pleasure in sexualising these somewhat innocent forms of dress, but I didn't. I'll be honest - I wore about fifty layers Dad. Scratch that, I wore a full on burka. I promise.

Adam Gray/ SWNS.com

I swear to God that last year, Carnage was promoted as an event where you got to meet people. I didn't meet anyone I particularly liked, if I'm perfectly honest, (bar a lovely hobo named Jonathan), and I can't imagine meeting anyone I'd want to make lifelong friends with after showing them more flesh than my mother has seen of me for years. The nice friends that my family so desperately craves me to find this year will not be found while I am wearing next to nothing.

This theme of 'Pimps and Hoes' has brought so much in to light - newspapers and blogs especially have been ranting about the sexual objectification of women and, as a result, the fad that is 'slut dropping' has been brought to the forefront of our attention.

Slut dropping is literally one of the most disgusting things I think I've ever read about. The idea, my clean minded, innocent friends, is to drive around town with friends in the early hours of the morning in the pursuit of offering a lift home to a woman that they deem as a 'slut' - (this is usually someone who is stumbling, drunk and all of the other things I described the young fresher's to be as of tomorrow night.) After asking her address, they drive as fast and as far as possible in the opposite direction, before forcing the women out of the car and filming her as they drive away. While there has only been one reported event of it, it's disturbing, we can't deny it.

Then again, who gets into a strangers car, drunk or sober?  

Thank God for the women's officer who gave me a brand new free rape alarm this week. Can't say I'm loving the faulty pin on it that made it go off at around 5am this morning, prompting me to think I was actually being raped but, the idea is there and my safety is intact. (IGNORE THE IRONY!)

All I'm trying to say with this blog is that women shouldn't be objectified in an event where the sole purpose is to drink yourself into a stupor that will undoubtedly still be hanging around  a week later. I'm not saying that female students shouldn't go out and enjoy themselves because 1) That would make me a hypocrite and 2) I would lost at least half of my blog readership. Women should be able to go out, get drunk and do whatever the hell they like. YOU ARE FREE WOMEN! But dressed as prostitutes? Well, that's a whole other kettle of fish...

The F word

Today, I am approaching  a subject that is bound to seriously damage the number of people who read my blog. Or rather, the number of friends that I have who are willing/forced to read my blog after my constant coercing.  I should be scared of potentially becoming 'that bitch on the internet', but, due to a healthy supply of fizzy drinks, chocolate bars, sweets and fat based products, I'm quite calm about the whole thing.

If you've been reading my blogs of late, then you'll know that two out of the five that have been posted are full of ranting about men's perception of women and, the pressures that women face in the modern day world. While I still maintain that fact, I just want to point out some home truths about modern feminism that will probably make Emmeline Pankhurst roll in her grave.

Let's get one thing straight before we go steam rolling into this sensitive issue; I am a feminist. I completely support women's rights; I spent God knows how many years in school learning about the Suffragettes movement, and many more continuing to learn about it in my free time. I spent my childhood being told by my grandparents to embrace my rights as a woman, that had been fought for nearing a century ago. I have the utmost respect for the movement and, it makes me proud that we still continue to work tirelessly for women's rights. But, I feel that the whole campaign is becoming somewhat.. close minded towards male feminists.

Here's my argument in a nutshell: men may make the odd joke about women staying in the kitchen and whatnot, but so do I. I refuse to have my rights to make jokes about my amazing abilities to make sandwiches  and doing golden medal worthy ironing away from me. The fact is, women are mean about men too. In fact, should you tune into ITV at half twelve on weekdays, (if, like me, you have nothing better to do), and that much will be proven. Loose Women is dedicated to talking about how stupid men are, and yet, they don't get taken off the air. The show represents a stereotype of modern feminism that, well, is crap really. There's a difference between women saying; "I am a woman, hear me shop, (sorry - can't help it) ROAR," and "I am a woman, listen to me giggling at my own jokes about how my partner is unable to perform the mundane domestic duties that I can."

How is that the liberation that the feminist movement has fought for? Can someone please point out to me how inviting bitter old women to gather around a table with cups of tea and bourbon biscuits to insult the male population is modern feminism? Frankly, I don't really want to be represented by this juvenile level rubbish.  

Whereas sexism against men isn't publicised as often as that against women, it does exist. Whether we ignore it or not, sexism against men is often a result of the same outdated gender rules that keep the female population in their place. Divorce courts often rule that the mother should have custody of their children, which we accept willingly. However, does no one want to point out that the British courts still seem to be operating under the attitude that it is a mother's job to have full custody of her children? And why do they often assume that father's cannot do the job that mother's can? My parents are divorced - and they are both wonderful people who have brought me up to be the fantastic and goddess like woman that I am. The fact that they shared custody of me wasn't a hindrance to my childhood. Fact is, men are just as capable as women.

Obnoxious male stereotypes stem from the same place as those that affect women: THE MEDIA. The idea that is drummed into women's heads by lad culture magazines, is that men are half brained, potential rapists who think of nothing but sex all the time and cannot have a conversation with a woman while looking them directly in the face. Plus, lad culture stresses that the only way men can enjoy themselves is by going out, getting absolutely car parked and having a good ol' fashioned manly fight. Maybe there are men like this out there, but the easy acceptance of the way that 'blokes' should be makes it near enough to impossible for them to be otherwise. Men drink alcohol until they throw up or piss in the streets and stare at tits 24/7 because they're 'real' men.

The list of things men cannot do is endless. They cannot enjoy dancing, care about their appearance too much or talk about their feelings. They aren't allowed to have feelings beyond being horny, angry or pissed. They can have relationships with other men, but they can't discuss emotions with them.  The fact is that sexism happens to men too. And sadly, men have no place in modern feminism to do anything about it. Male feminists do exist but, most of them feel like they can't have an opinion about feminism because they are men.

Like all my other blog posts, I'm getting too preachy. The point is feminism can be liberating for men, but its capability of being used as a tool for self development  is very influential. Gender aside, when we look at how society has effectively shaped your way of thinking, behavior, expectations of yourself and those around you and, the expectations of gender conformity, it can be such a release to break off from the conventionality that society pressures us with.

So, boys, if you need one reason to become a male feminist, here goes nothing: screw society's expectations of how you should be and screw lad cultures ideas of how you should perceive women. Fact is, we're more equal these days that we ever have been. Be whoever, do whatever and do it because you want to. Meanwhile, I'll put the kettle on and whip up a batch of cookies.