The F word

Today, I am approaching  a subject that is bound to seriously damage the number of people who read my blog. Or rather, the number of friends that I have who are willing/forced to read my blog after my constant coercing.  I should be scared of potentially becoming 'that bitch on the internet', but, due to a healthy supply of fizzy drinks, chocolate bars, sweets and fat based products, I'm quite calm about the whole thing.

If you've been reading my blogs of late, then you'll know that two out of the five that have been posted are full of ranting about men's perception of women and, the pressures that women face in the modern day world. While I still maintain that fact, I just want to point out some home truths about modern feminism that will probably make Emmeline Pankhurst roll in her grave.

Let's get one thing straight before we go steam rolling into this sensitive issue; I am a feminist. I completely support women's rights; I spent God knows how many years in school learning about the Suffragettes movement, and many more continuing to learn about it in my free time. I spent my childhood being told by my grandparents to embrace my rights as a woman, that had been fought for nearing a century ago. I have the utmost respect for the movement and, it makes me proud that we still continue to work tirelessly for women's rights. But, I feel that the whole campaign is becoming somewhat.. close minded towards male feminists.

Here's my argument in a nutshell: men may make the odd joke about women staying in the kitchen and whatnot, but so do I. I refuse to have my rights to make jokes about my amazing abilities to make sandwiches  and doing golden medal worthy ironing away from me. The fact is, women are mean about men too. In fact, should you tune into ITV at half twelve on weekdays, (if, like me, you have nothing better to do), and that much will be proven. Loose Women is dedicated to talking about how stupid men are, and yet, they don't get taken off the air. The show represents a stereotype of modern feminism that, well, is crap really. There's a difference between women saying; "I am a woman, hear me shop, (sorry - can't help it) ROAR," and "I am a woman, listen to me giggling at my own jokes about how my partner is unable to perform the mundane domestic duties that I can."

How is that the liberation that the feminist movement has fought for? Can someone please point out to me how inviting bitter old women to gather around a table with cups of tea and bourbon biscuits to insult the male population is modern feminism? Frankly, I don't really want to be represented by this juvenile level rubbish.  

Whereas sexism against men isn't publicised as often as that against women, it does exist. Whether we ignore it or not, sexism against men is often a result of the same outdated gender rules that keep the female population in their place. Divorce courts often rule that the mother should have custody of their children, which we accept willingly. However, does no one want to point out that the British courts still seem to be operating under the attitude that it is a mother's job to have full custody of her children? And why do they often assume that father's cannot do the job that mother's can? My parents are divorced - and they are both wonderful people who have brought me up to be the fantastic and goddess like woman that I am. The fact that they shared custody of me wasn't a hindrance to my childhood. Fact is, men are just as capable as women.

Obnoxious male stereotypes stem from the same place as those that affect women: THE MEDIA. The idea that is drummed into women's heads by lad culture magazines, is that men are half brained, potential rapists who think of nothing but sex all the time and cannot have a conversation with a woman while looking them directly in the face. Plus, lad culture stresses that the only way men can enjoy themselves is by going out, getting absolutely car parked and having a good ol' fashioned manly fight. Maybe there are men like this out there, but the easy acceptance of the way that 'blokes' should be makes it near enough to impossible for them to be otherwise. Men drink alcohol until they throw up or piss in the streets and stare at tits 24/7 because they're 'real' men.

The list of things men cannot do is endless. They cannot enjoy dancing, care about their appearance too much or talk about their feelings. They aren't allowed to have feelings beyond being horny, angry or pissed. They can have relationships with other men, but they can't discuss emotions with them.  The fact is that sexism happens to men too. And sadly, men have no place in modern feminism to do anything about it. Male feminists do exist but, most of them feel like they can't have an opinion about feminism because they are men.

Like all my other blog posts, I'm getting too preachy. The point is feminism can be liberating for men, but its capability of being used as a tool for self development  is very influential. Gender aside, when we look at how society has effectively shaped your way of thinking, behavior, expectations of yourself and those around you and, the expectations of gender conformity, it can be such a release to break off from the conventionality that society pressures us with.

So, boys, if you need one reason to become a male feminist, here goes nothing: screw society's expectations of how you should be and screw lad cultures ideas of how you should perceive women. Fact is, we're more equal these days that we ever have been. Be whoever, do whatever and do it because you want to. Meanwhile, I'll put the kettle on and whip up a batch of cookies.