I'll think of an appropriate title later...

As autumn approaches, and we find that we are packing away the sun cream we never got to use and giving the umbrella's a more pride of place in the house, (I suggest the mantelpiece), I wonder how I am going to motivate myself for the next semester of university. At the moment, I am watching people finish off the vital DIY work that's been going on, (if you've been living under our roof this summer, that is), getting ready for their new and exciting jobs and preparing their pencil cases, (which will be decimated in five weeks), for the new school term, and  I cannot help but wonder why I am not as motivated as these wonderful individuals. It may be due to the fact that, I am a student who has been on holiday since May 21st. Or, it could be that these people don't exist and that Britain is in the steely grip of procrastination. I'll go with the latter.

I can almost hear the delightful melody of the final countdown in the air as we fast approach September. If any undergraduates out there are anything like me, apart from being slightly barmy, then all 300,000 of us are struggling to remember how it feels to compose a decent essay. We are wondering how our alarm clocks actually work and trying to remember what the outside world looks like before midday.

While I love procrastinating, even I have to admit that it's a bit of a curse. I can't really remember the last time I set foot into the library at my university without staring into space, gazing absentmindedly at the sexy boys cramming for their final exams, logging into my iTunes account or planning my night out with my flatmates. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever sat down in the library to do some decent work.  I prefer sitting on my bed , with my Friends box set blaring and highlighting notes, while convincing myself that, "Yes Gemma; This IS proper revision. Ish.."

In case it hasn't been made fully clear yet, I am a fully paid member of the hardcore procrastinators crew. I never open my bank statements, which I instead leave lying round the house, hoping my mother will find them. I run in the opposite direction when I see an email marked as urgent. I didn't sort out my student loan until the very last minute, my module choices for next year still aren't sorted, (not completely my fault by the way!) and I cannot write an essay or an article, (although I intend to be a journalist) until the deadline is at my feet, yapping like a lost puppy.

So, I thought, how can I combat my severe procrastination disorder?

Well, recently I read that a professor of the Haskayne School of Business at the University of Calgary, conducted extensive research into the topic and found that 95% of us, (Yes Dad, ALL OF US), procrastinate at some point. Professor Joseph Ferrari of DePaul University Chicago found that 20% of the world's population are chronic procrastinators, complicating their lives and, in the long run, shortening them, with delaying and task avoidance.

So those figures sort of freaked me out. Procrastinators are less wealthy, more likely to have health issues and more unhappy than those who don't avoid their unpleasant chores.  I suppose it's always nice to have a bit of money, always nice to be able to breathe without wheezing and always, of course, nice to feel happy.

Despite all this, I can't help but love the art of procrastination, especially when I get to hear all the little stories people have made up to justify their behaviour, (me included.) I'll scream it until I am blue in the face, but I certainly do not work better under pressure.  I end up more irritable than any girl would be during her period so God forbid you are around me nearing a deadline. I once threw a book at someone and, yes, it may have missed, but that's just because I'm a female with poor aim. I was still pretty stressed out. Let's face it, we love to leave things until the last minute, but our behaviour always leaves others feelings annoyed and inconvenienced, while we feel flustered and sometimes ashamed of our stress heads.

The fact is that no one enjoys seeing the deadline pass us by. The angry university tutor who is handed in an essay late is exactly the same as the boss who's told that the new business plans won't be with him until next Monday. We get angry, we cry, excuses (or rather, blatant lies) are spewed out and people are fired.  The odd balls of our society - (you know the ones - the hyper organised, punctual types), are unable to fathom the addictive quality that procrastination instills.

"I love deadlines - I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by."

Douglas Adams

Procrastination just feels felonious, doesn't it? Especially in a world society where history shows that swift action is commendable and even a moral good sometimes. Leaders who sped into conflicts, such as Margaret Thatcher in the Falklands War or George Bush in Iraq, are often more widely admired than those who are too cautious.

Professor Pier Steel is under the impression that humans are programmed to procrastinate, which makes me feel a hell of a lot better about doing it all the time. However, he suggests two ways of combating procrastination which I've actually tried and well.. I did alright. I got this blog written instead of playing the Sims 3 didn't I?

So the first idea is obvious - breaking the task down into small chunks which are easier to digest and easier to work through methodically, which, I know, never works, so we'll bypass that one. The second is absolutely magic and is probably the only reason this blog is being written right now - give a TRUSTED friend £50, with the ruling that if you do not complete the undertaken task in the time given or whatever, that they must give it away to a political party or cause that you really don't agree with. It'll work wonders, believe you me.  

Additionally, you need to get yourself sorted. I know it's difficult to crawl out of bed in the morning all perky and ready to get organised, but it is do able. For me, I let my very capable and accomplished mother, (HI MAM!) sort through my files that have long been forgotten or check out my bank balance when I'm too scared to do so. It's not advisable, but it's a last resort while you're trying to get over your procrastination disorder.  

I've been dossing around on planet earth for nearly 20 years now, refusing that I am getting closer to adulthood each day and refusing to accept and complete all of the boring responsibilities that come with that. I'm still the over - sleeping, homework - avoiding, procrastinating, last minute working and now in debt student that I was when I first set foot into full time education. I suppose that all the fun in life comes from pushing your stress levels through the roof the night before an exam and giving yourself the adrenaline rush that comes with using your debit card and wondering if it'll get rejected.  But now, I am someone's big sister, with a loan pilling up, bills I have to pay, essays to write and lectures to attend. Turns out that other people's happiness and peace of mind are starting to depend on mine.

So, my lovely readers, to beg the question, "To procrastinate, or not to procrastinate?" my answer is simple; I'd love to say my procrastinating days are finished but I'd be lying.  The fact is that procrastination is too addictive for me to quit. However, using the tips that some very smart cookie type people have provided me with, (in so many words), via the internet, I think my procrastination days are about to become a lot easier to handle, while certain causes become a lot richer at my expense. 

Now, what was I meant to be doing before I started writing this blog...

http://procrastinators-anonymous.org/  - So you suffers can recognise, pull together and prevent the dire consequences of putting off today what could be achieved within at least the next millennium.