I've never been massively conscious of my body, especially
regarding my weight. I wouldn't go as far as to say that I am completely
comfortable in my own skin, but I've never taken extreme action to lose weight.
Even after looking in the mirror and being dissatisfied with my hair, my
clothes, my body shape and my face, I can still eat a few Krispy Kreme donuts
and think nothing of it.
But, at the end of the day, like the majority of the female
population, I am never satisfied with the way I look.
This thought was particularly renewed for me when I went for
my routine medical check up in the doctors last month. I'd pretty much aced the
lung capacity test and my blood pressure was perfect. I could see that the
doctor was thoroughly impressed by my ability to survive without her constant
input. And so, it was with an air of
smugness that I jumped up onto the scales feeling pretty confident that I'd be around
my ideal weight.
However, it was to my (at the time) pleasant surprise that
the doctor told me that I was underweight by one kilogram. Which, apparently,
is a big deal.
ONE KILOGRAM. GOD FORBID I BE UNDERWEIGHT BY ONE KILOGRAM.
Ok so let's start off on the right footing. I am currently
5ft3", showing no definite signs of growing anymore and, according to my
last check up, I weigh 59 kilograms, (feel free to convert the measurements
yourself if you aren't sure about them.) I've always been around my ideal
weight and to be bluntly honest, I'm pretty sure the scales were lying as there
is no way I can possibly weigh so little.
If the scales were correct, however, it isn't down to
exercise or healthy eating. I am sure my family and friends will be able to
vouch for me when I say that I LOVE food to the point where I am planning my
next meal whilst eating my current one. I eat what I like, when I like and,
even if I do worry about my weight, these irrational thoughts are quickly
dismissed by a doughnut or a slice of pizza.
So no, it wasn't the fact that I wasn't my ideal weight that
bothered me. What got to me after I'd left the doctor's office was that she had
told that I was too skinny and that I needed to put weight on.
Me? Too skinny? I mean please, has this woman not seen my
baby pictures? I put the Michelin man to shame.
Ok, clearly, I am no longer a baby and I probably should be
taking care of myself a bit better, I get that. But I'm hardly a bag of bones.
I have generous sized boobs, (cringe cringe dad!), hips and a wobbly bum, (yes
it wobbles and makes for comfortable sitting on) and, personally, I think I'm
quite generously filled out.
What I'm trying to say is that, despite what you might
think, being told that I was too skinny actually made me feel a bit shit. I
have never ever been called skinny before and, after being told it once, I
never want to be told it again. Girls don't want to be skinny and being called
it is not a subtle compliment. Girls want to be slim with curves and big
breasts. Unfortunately, you can't have it all and frankly, there is a very
important difference between the words 'skinny' and 'slim'.
It seems to me that the world doesn't seem to let women have
their own opinions about their bodies. I'm sure that not everyone wants to be
really skinny and not everyone has tried really hard to get there. Not everyone
is worried that they don't look thin enough.
Like I said, I've never been referred to as skinny before
but, it didn't feel good. I have friends who are slim and, I'll admit that
nearly every time that I see them I always go through the same thought process:
My thighs are twice as big as hers and
I'm wearing a skirt. Why am I wearing a skirt? Damn all skirts - she's probably
feeling sorry for me for having these legs. I could never wear those skinny
jeans she's wearing. I could never wear the outfit she's wearing - it looks so
good on her. Everything looks good on her because she's so slim. Maybe she's on
a diet. Maybe I should be on a diet...
And at that point, I usually wander off and find a bag of
crisps to devour.
However, now that I've been on the receiving end of it, I
feel so guilty. I suddenly realised that I was one of those annoying women who
take the time to care about how skinny other women are. It's far too easy to
think that someone else's body is a commentary that you can make. When,
clearly, it's definitely not. It's clearly just their body, their shape and the
way that they are.
So, is calling someone skinny really an acceptable thing to
do? No - I don't think it is and frankly, I think it's just as insensitive as
calling someone fat. Moral of the story here, though, is that no one should
ever be allowed an opinion on someone else's body or way of life unless they
ask for it. And trust me, I will never ask for it.
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| Courtesy of http://oceanstatefit.com/well-hello-1998-it-is-nice-to-see-you-again/ |
Oh and to my legs - you looked fine in that skirt. It's a
very nice skirt and no one was really paying you attention anyway so get over
yourselves. Attention seekers...
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