Isn't it crazy how all of the work you have to do kind of
crashes down on you, making you forget the most important thing in your life?
Ok yes, it's sad that my blog is one of the most important things to me but I
do have other things to look after too. The growing pile of dishes in the
kitchen sink perhaps? Or the laundry basket that's overflowing with alcohol
smelling clothes? Or maybe my boyfriend? I guess I like him enough to check up
on him every now and then.
I suppose I'm trying to justify my long term absence from
this blog but, well, I can't. All I can say in my defense is that the second
year of university is not all as rosy and simple as I first thought, the
newspaper is (as usual) happily eating away at my existence (not that I'm
complaining), I finally found an employer who wants to employ me and, aside
from this, I have stuff to do. Striking
the balance between blogging, working, sleeping, eating and getting pissed is
much harder than I thought and hopefully, I will strike that balance soon.
Now, as you all may or not know, today (which is the 25th November,
2012), is White Ribbon Day - The annual pinnacle of a wider campaign to urge
men and boys to wear a white ribbon as visible pledges to never commit, condone
or remain silent about violence against women. What's so great about this
campaign is that it's male-led, which means that men are actively involved in
campaigning against such violence alongside women. For me, this is an added
bonus because I just don't think that men either actively participate or feel
able to participate in such campaigns because they are men. But that's for
another blog.
Even if the women's officer, Becki Warrillow, at my
students' union wasn't doing such a fantastic job of raising awareness on
campus and going out of her way to get me so involved in the day, it would
still be a subject that's close to my heart. I'm not usually one to jump on
what most people refer to as the band wagon, and it is very very out of
character for me to promote events on my blog but, today, out of the kindness
of my heart, I do so, just because I care.
I've previously wrote a blog about this sort of thing (so
sorry to be a bit repetitive) which is aptly named 'The ugly truth of love
addiction' which, you can access here -----> The Ugly Truth of Love Addiction
According to some very handy statistics I found a while back during summer when
I had nothing better to do (how I miss those days), love addiction is one of
the main causes in explaining why domestic violence against both men and women
goes on for so long without being reported.
According to statistics, about one in six women have
experienced domestic violence from either a previous relationship or with a
current partner. That roughly equates to about 1.3 million women.
45% of women have experienced some form of domestic
violence, sexual assault or stalking.
21% of girls experience some form of child sexual abuse.
At least 80,000 women are raped in the UK on an annual
basis.
On average, two women a week in England and Wales are killed
by a violent partner or ex partner. This constitutes nearly 40% of all female
homicide victims.
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| "It's my own fault" - Two women in the UK are killed every week by a male partner. Say no to violence against women http://www.thefword.org.uk/blog/2011/12/youfem_domestic |
And these are just the reported cases. This doesn't even
cover the hundred of incidents that happen daily that go unreported and there
is no one to stand up for these women who suffer in silence and say that no,
actually it is not ok to be violent against women, be in physical, sexual,
mental, emotional, financial and institutional. I have spoken to many friends
who have been in this position and the typical "this isn't as bad as other
women have it." or "he doesn't hit me." charade drives me up the
wall. My friends and I have rarely spoken about domestic abuse, but when we
have, I have never found myself saying the words "No, actually I don't
think that you aren't experiencing domestic abuse."
That speaks for itself really.
It's not that we all have bad boyfriends - most of my
friends have now been with their other halves for nearing 3 years and are still
going strong. For me, the scariest part about these conversations is that most
of us wouldn't recognise ourselves as being in abusive relationships because
we're all so happy with our partners. You know the kind of happy I mean - all
sickly sweet, roses and heart shaped things and whatnot.
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| Domestic Violence |
More often than not, the ideas my friends and I, and society
have about domestic abuse stem from media coverage, TV programmes and societal
stereotypes. Many women suffer abuse,
but do nothing about it because they don't feel that they fit into this
profile, or they don't understand what the umbrella term 'domestic violence'
actually covers. Like some people I
know, some feel that their experiences just aren't bad enough to discuss. Why
women feel that they are so insignificant in the world is beyond me but you are
not. Everyone has a place and everyone has a right to speak up and make others
listen.
I'm not preaching here that all men are evil and women are
completely angelic. It simply isn't the case - Most men are not violent towards
their better halves, but it is a problem that has yet to be tackled efficiently
because it still goes on. I've been in relationships which I now recognise as
being mentally unhealthy for me, shall we say, and it's very real and very
scary when you're on the other side of it and looking back at it and thinking,
"How bloody stupid could I possibly have gotten?" To be frank, it
upsets me even now that I naively allowed myself to be put into such positions
and I am eternally grateful that I am no longer in them and am now happy in
myself.
Women aren't perfect. I can assure you that I'm often a
bitch of a girlfriend and that my boyfriend would not be hasty in agreeing with
me on that one. I'm needy, I'm whiny, I'm bitchy and I'm constantly looking for
attention. When I'm not moaning about my hair not sitting right or being fat, I
have my hand in a packet of crisps or a bag of chocolate buttons. I love shoes
and clothes and handbags more than people, and spend my time complaining about
the two. Like the majority of womankind, I moan a fair bit about this and that
and everything in between. But, for all of my shortcomings, I would never ever
raise a hand to anyone.
What angers me more than anything is that some men use the
shortcomings of women as an excuse to be violent. In March this year, Actor
Dennis Waterman, admitted that he had punched his former wife for being
"too intelligent." I'm not entirely sure whether this is meant as a
compliment or as a devise of blame, but either way, it's wrong. Even I will
admit that I like to push my boyfriend's buttons, but I'm sure that he would
never raise a hand to me, especially not for being more intelligent than him. Considering
that he is English and I am Welsh, that's deemed to be impossible.
White Ribbon Day only highlights for me that we still have a
long way to go in preventing domestic abuse against not only women, but also
men. We as a society need to band together to actually discuss domestic abuse
and make it more prominent in the eyes of the media - If we were to work on
dispelling the myths of domestic abuse and what a victim looks like, we may be
able to make it easier for people experiencing domestic abuse to come forward
and talk about their experiences and, to more importantly, access support. We
know that there are many issues surrounding domestic abuse, all adding up to
the million and one reasons as to why talking about it is so difficult.
Realistically, the issue is something that our society needs
to discuss which is why this campaign is so great. It pushes all the issues
that we don't want to see to the forefront of our minds which, in the long run,
is going to not only help people to understand what is categorised as domestic
violence, but to save lives.
And if that's not a reason to celebrate campaigns such as
this, then I don't know what is.
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Swansea University Students' Union and Swansea Metropolitan Students' Union raising awareness of White Ribbon Day - Designed by Sink Swansea artists.
Watch this video made to promote White Ribbon Day by our very own Media Society at Swansea University -----> White Ribbon Day - Swansea Uni and Swansea Met SU
