Monday, 15 October 2012

Loans, grants, overdrafts and being poor


After a two hour long session in a lecture room next to a guy who reverted to the technique of copying down every word that I wrote rather than using his brain, and a student behind me who was determined to beat out the introduction to Phil Collins hit song 'In the air tonight' on the back of my chair every five seconds, I can't say I'm feeling ecstatic about university life at the moment. However, even at this very moment as I feast on crappy canteen food and dry cheerios  I am still paying to go to these lecture rooms that consist of students slumped on chairs pretending to listen to the lecture while they doodle and throw things at each other, a lecturer nearly crying with the passion of his subject and the occasional question and answer time.

Yep. I'm living the high life.

Anyway, today, after trudging back to the Waterfront office, and deliberating whether to trip up the student in front of me, (it was the one who had kicked my pelvis out of place during our lecture,) I decided that it was finally time to pay off my internet bills for my shiny new house and, of course, for my room in my shiny new house.

It cost me just over a grand.

A GRAND. A whole load of money that big just... POOF! Gone in a flash. I had tears of pain in my eyes as I clicked the button to confirm that, yes, I was actually going to give away all that money and no, I wasn't going to change my mind, just so I don't have to sleep in a cardboard box.
And with that sum of money in mind, I wouldn't object to the box right now.
 
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Now, I know that I don't have it as bad as some students do. I guess I could say that I'm rather lucky with the fact that my parents decided to have me when they did. A year later, and I'd be facing tuition fees of about £9,000. (We'll ignore the fact that I'm Welsh and that my government is purely awesome for the next few minutes)

Last year, as you may well know, (Hi Stalkers!) I started my education at Swansea University. The school talk about student finance seemed a long time ago then - it was way back in July at the end of year 12 and for some reason, it was scheduled for a Friday afternoon, which had followed a week of 'learning'. I can assure you that I was not prepared to listen to somebody coming in from Glamorgan University to reel off a pre-prepared and over-rehearsed speech about university and, 'more importantly' student finance. As she rambled on, my mind, and most of the minds of those around me, drifted to fresher's fortnight, the parties, the alcohol, the societies, the alcohol, meeting new people and possibly finding a bit of independence, (which I am yet to find.)

I vaguely remember being told to apply for my student loan as soon as I had decided which university I wanted to go to and which course I wanted to do. Unfortunately, I didn't listen to a word and I was stuck at the last minute, panicking, trying to remember which bits to fill out and what to put down. Fortunately, my mother is an accountant, (and a damn good one at that), and filled it out for me in ten minutes flat, while making my dinner - the women is a domestic goddess.

Then, I had to change my current bank account to a student one. On this occasion, my dear mother dragged me out of my room, away from my Friends box set and into the bank on NatWest to partake in what I assumed would be a ten minute job. Actually, I turned out to be there for at least an hour, what with my easily distracted persona marvelling at the bank advisers hair and thick welsh accent and the fact that at least a ton of information was being thrown at me about saving accounts, debit cards, overdrafts, all on top of the actual current account. It makes my head spin to think about it now - I wisely passed on my money issues to my mother.


So now, my purse is brimming with cards for this, and that and everything else, and I feel like a business women. Well, on the outside anyway. On the inside, I'm worried about remembering my bank details and wishing it could be a tad easier, especially for me, being a History student and all. (We're very easily confused.) The only thing I did look forward to was getting a free railcard. The disappointment I felt when discovering that NatWest had scrapped that perk of the deal is symbolised in the phone bill my mother used up telling them how useless they were.

Unlike most fresher's, I didn't budget and I actually survived my first year. Like a true student, my finance outgoings were decided on unplanned impulsivity. Now I'm in my second year and looking at the seriously depleting rates of my bank account, I can't help but worry about how I will survive off chocolate animal biscuits again at my grand old age of 20... nearly...

NatWest provides it's answer to my problem with a piece of plastic, called a 'credit card' and a scam to take all my money known as an 'overdraft.'

Handy isn't it?

The tuition fees of over three grand that I pay each year was a lot for me to take in. I've never even seen a fifty pound note, so you can imagine how it blew my mind that universities wanted to take all this money from me that I didn't have. I can only imagine how the incoming fresher takes the news that they have to pay up to £9,000 a year to not attend the lectures and seminars that they're supposed to, but to spend the year drinking their livers into a state of shock and living off takeaways.

This is where the beauty of the 'student loan' comes in. Taking out a student loan for university is like indentured servitude. You will be paying your way to freedom for the rest of your life. You'll soon be living off cereal, (like me), and craving some protein or meat or... well, anything other than cereal. Basically, if you're going to take out a loan, do so wisely - make sure your parents are loaded or that you take out a subscription to online bingo.

But, it can sort of help you out during the poorest time of your life. I genuinely don't think I'd be alive right now, if it weren't for my student loan. With my inability to get a job, the lack of jobs and rent to pay, food to buy and alcohol to purchase and consume to drown out my money worries, my student loan is absolutely vital to my continued existence. While I wish I didn't have to depend so heavily on the government, (especially because it's English), I have to pass on my heartfelt thanks for keeping me alive for so long.

Perhaps I'm worrying too much. I've managed my finances rather well when I've accumulated money in the past, so coping with the virtual money that is now lingering around should be relatively easy. Learning to budget may or may not come in time but until then, pop tarts and animal biscuits should see me through this semester. And if I'm coping, (ish) I assure you that the rest of the student population will most definitely survive.  

Just don't ask me how - I'll let you know when I figure it out. 


Student loans video <---- Watch this - It'll make your poor, empty student lives way more interesting! 

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