The student coming of age in 10 steps.

As we students at Swansea University near the second week of 'Freshers', I cannot help but look back on my Freshers' week with fond memories that are, although blurred in some places, generally good. Last year, I drank my liver into a state of shock, fell over on some cobbles in shockingly high heels and drank so many shots of sambuca that I succeeded in getting completely hammered in a mere fifteen minutes. Personally, I think that's a world record. 

 I have tried my best this past week to go out whenever possible - I even went out on Thursday after being struck down by Fresher's Flu the very same day - (if you aren't sure what that is, you'll know soon enough.) Recreating the feeling of being a Fresher is pretty much impossible, and while I love going out and getting drunk as much as the next student, it doesn't really have the same glamour to it as when you are a Fresher.

In America, it's called 'Orientation Week', or 'Freshman Week.' Australians call them 'First years', which is straight and simply to the point. New Zealanders call them 'Freshies', which I think I'm going to adopt as my reference to them too. It's much better than my romantically starved friends and I calling them 'Fresh meat'. We are Shakespeare's in the making.

Everywhere you look, 'Freshies' are going to be referred to as something different. Whether they are Freshmen, First years, Freshies or Freshers', there are certain rites of passage, if you will, that remain the same for all first year university students the world over. Things that every student will go through at least once if not in their first year, then the two years following and, if you're anything like the infamous few at Swansea University who have been around since it opened, for the rest of their lives.

1. Freshers Fayre madness

From cheerleading to reading poetry, Skyrim appreciation to football, there are clubs and societies for excited students to join for pretty much anything you could possibly imagine, and a whole load more. This year, a Hogwarts society joined the ranks of Swansea, (much to my delight) and apparently, they've been raking in the freshers'. I mean it when I say that there is a society for everyone. At the fayre, they'll all be after some 'fresh meat'... or refresher meat - putting pens in your pockets, giving you mugs for advertisement, taking your phone numbers and email addresses, begging for you to come to socials and generally bragging that their society is the best thing since sliced bread. This is all done in the vain hope that you'll spend your student loan signing up.

If it's money that they're after, hold out a little bit. I always find that the athletic societies tend to be more at ease with bleeding you dry but, it is worth it to shed all those pounds and get involved in some initiations that will make you cringe in years to come. There's no rush to sign up, but take all the free things that you can! Freshers' fayre is one massive orgy of free things - completely worth going to.

2. All the pub crawls and dressing up like tools.

Pub crawls and dressing up are possibly the most unoriginal ideas that student parents have about the questionable activities that their children are up too whilst living away from home. The reason for all the cliched ideas is that students generally do go on lots and lots of pub crawls and wear lots and lots of fancy dress. For the lolz - naturally. 

Last night, I swear to God that I saw some Freshers' dressed up as Dalmatians. I really want to say that they were celebrating how awesome dogs are or something but, alas, no. It was purely for the lolz - absolute legends already.

Oh and mother, father, Nan and other family relations - look away. NOW.

NOTE: Make sure you have sorted your Facebook security settings so that the photos of your goings on will never ever ever make it back to your parents. For some reason, seeing your child down a shot or five of tequila upsets some parents. Goodness knows why.

Steph and I - I'm the one looking like a complete tool

3. Your details

During Freshers' week and beyond, you will discover that there is a list of sacred facts that students list off to each other. This ensures that you can befriend anyone. Your name, course and hometown usually do the trick, though if you are destined to be more than 'freshers' friends', the conversation may expand to where you are currently living and if you'd like a free drink. They might even ask for your number. Only give your phone number to people you expect to see again after that night. I have learnt this the hard way.

4. Learning that what happens in Freshers' week, stays in Freshers' week

Parents - look away NOW.

Flings and other acts of drunken futility are the stuff of the Freshers' experience. Above getting a degree, moving into a new house and the nights out, there is one thing that most students are looking forward to when they get to university. Everyone hopes that they can meet a nice young lady/man to schmooze in the students' union or local pubs and clubs, of course, with a little alcohol to fuel a testosterone filled system.

All that testosterone in the air fuels the excitement, the dancing, the alcohol and, well, the kissing that usual happens before the name knowing bit. Obviously, people try to do it as discreetly as possible, but all the alcohol often means that everything gets a bit muddled up. Anyways , just try to adopt the tactic of smiling in the face of your embarrassment to your new flatmates and, of course, to the person you kissed. Not that I would know, but apparently, it works.

5. Getting 'carparked' and calling all your friends from home.

You moved into your new 'home' approximately 48 hours ago, and yet, you have the urge to call up all your friends from your previous life and tell them how much you love them, miss them and how much fun you are having being constantly drunk and living off cheese and toast. After you have a drink or ten in you, the urge is impossible to resist.

It'll be the usual spiel - making promises to visit each other, telling them about your new friends, discussing how long ago school seems like and blah blah blah. It doesn't sound particularly interesting, but if you're anything like my friends and I, these conversations can last hours.

Plus, the likelihood is that they've also had a fair few drinks and will be drunkenly screaming the same things back at you, which means double excitement. YAY!

Any Swansea students wanna guess where this is?

6. Drink more alcohol than you have consumed food... in your lifetime.

Once upon a time, when I was in my first year, I decided to mix some alcohol to make a special kind of 'cocktail' which all students will happen upon at one point. This, my friends, is called the 'dirty pint' and is only drunk on your birthday or on a dare.  The rule is to always finish it off with a dash of blackcurrant or cranberry to make it look less menacing.

It tastes vile to be perfectly honest. It destroys your insides completely. It stains your lips and tongue for a good few days. But, it's cheap, it'll get you nice and drunk and well, you only live once right?  

7. Freshers' Flu

Ah Freshers' flu - a name that fills students with fear. Around 90% of students are struck down with the illness in their first week of university, including symptoms of headache, coughing, sore throat, fever and some general discomfort. Unfortunately, there's only so much alcohol abuse that the human body can stand. One week of solid drinking, sleeping and eating kebabs will leave you yearning to be back at home in bed with some soup courtesy of your mum.

It's all about timing really. Time is well and you'll be in full health, all excited and shiny faced for your lectures the next week. And if not... are lectures really that important?

Well... yeah but... you get my drift.

8. Challenge someone more experienced than you to a drinking game

This year, I have noticed that many second years, (like myself), seem horrified at the thought of being seen as a Fresher, which is down to one simple factor - we don't want to participate in drinking games with our already severely damaged livers. Being in your first year means that you discover a whole host of interesting, new and exciting things about yourself. For most, that means finding out that you're an 'expert' in a whole host of drinking games - from blackjack to ring of fire, you are a pro. Well, you are according to yourself anyway.

Courtesy of Student Beans 

Truth is, you aren't. Challenge any masters or third year student to a drinking challenge and well, you'll pretty much get your arse kicked. Losing games is never fun and often, the result is downing a pint of Strongbow or Guinness. So yeah, good luck with that.

9. Stand outside your new halls at 4am after a fire alarm

I lived on campus last year and I am not lying when I say that there were around 3 to 4 fire alarms a month. We only had one legitimate fire in the duration of the year. And even that was just a bit of smoke after someone burned their oven chips. Seriously, who makes oven chips at 5am?

The likelihood of that happening to you is up in the top ten. With drunken students cooking at all hours and student smokers who think that they can get away with having a cigarette hanging out their bedroom window is more often than not the case of the fire alarm going off.

It's a good way to bond with your flatmates though - complaining about how cold it is in your pyjamas, watching drunken students try to get into their room while campus security try to stop them and expressing how pissed off you are at whoever set it off makes for interesting conversation beyond 2am. Honest!

The Guardian have actually made my day with putting this picture online. YAY!

10. Traffic cones and shopping trolleys

It's what most people expect from students these days and with good reason. No word of a lie, I have honestly pushed my boyfriend around the students' union in a shopping trolley before. Which is a feat in itself, given how athletically challenged I am... Personally, I've never accessorised my outfit with a cone, but I have known several people to bring one home with them when finding partner for the evening fails. I suppose it makes a nice change to cwtch up to a plastic cone for comfort. All in all, it's what we're expected to do. Let's not let the masses down...

If that's all, I'm off to find a traffic cone to put on my head. God knows that you need to do something at least once in your lifetime, (especially if it's free),  and hey, lectures don't start until next Monday. I have another 48 hours of freedom before I am plunged back into this thing called 'work'. Urgh. Until then, enjoy the remaining days of Freshers' before I get all serious again with my 'degree'. Who knows - I might just not fail it if I accept that I am no longer a fresher.